Offseason Post I
It’s weird. I’ve been in a bit of a writer’s block since the seasons ended; both in the literal sense, and when it comes to creatively for processing my own photos. Even this past week as I’ve really started to reignite the flame and push myself, there’s just been a hollowness to it. Everything feels the same.
But why has it been weird?
Because I’ve been in a rather good mood throughout all of it. Don’t get me wrong, there’s been more than enough to downward spiral over… but I just haven’t been in the mood for that… sorta the same way that I haven’t been in the mood to play with my photos. Honestly, it sorta concerns me, but at the same time…. It is what it is.
Maybe this post will be the reignition of me doing my thing. Maybe it will just be “the random single in between albums”. Quite frankly, I don’t really care. I’m just going to let whatever happen as it happens.
I don’t hate the way things have been going, so I’m just going to ride it out. I’m gonna push this without pushing it. As far as how I’m feeling looking towards next year, well:
“Feeling like I’ve been sinking
Rest my eyes, bed of the lake
Feeling like I’m pretending
Feeling like I don’t deserve this treasure
I’m scared I’m a fake
Tired I’ll lay here, bed of the lake, yeah
Goddamn I feel alive
Damn I feel alive
When the morning can’t be seen through the night
Oh damn I feel inspired
Damn I feel inspired
When the darkness besieging the light
Goddamn I feel alive
But feeling alive’s no good
Every little doubt I know I’m hooked
Damn I feel alive
Damn I feel alive
No the morning won’t be seen through the night
Feel my life losing meaning
Feeling like I’m in the way
They’ll be fine, explain my reasons
They’ll be fine, it’s getting harder
Body tied down by a weight
{breath}
Goddamn I feel alive
Damn I feel alive
When the morning can’t be seen through the night
Car park in Anaheim
Underground the blinds drawn
I’m pleading ‘oh keep me from the light’
Goddamn I feel alive
If feeling alive’s so good
why’s every single doubt give me that push?
Damn I feel alive
Damn I feel alive
Knowing my morning won’t be seen through the night”
-R. Damiani/M. Donnelly, 2021
