The Fog

I’ve been in a weird place since Daytona. I wanted to bring oh so much more home with me… but I really can’t be too upset with what I have. It’s all progress.

The part that has annoyed me the most is that I’m still at a loss of words. Not like in a bad way or anything… just… yeah. I don’t think I’ve even wrapped my head around it yet, let alone the ability to relay it.

I’ll get there though.

In short: a lot of other [more “notable”] photographers have said that this year’s Rolex is on for the ages; one that won’t be forgotten soon. Why? Because of the fog? Otherwise -barring the last hour- it was a relatively uneventful race. So if we’re just focusing on the fog, I actually find that quite ironically amusing considering my current inability to communicate my feelings of it. I digress. I have a feeling that this year’s Rolex will in fact be not forgotten anytime soon for me. Not because of the fog, but because of the self-growth that’s blossoming out of it for me.

I spent the lot of it “in the back, off the side and far away” where I typically hide. Where I typically feel most comfortable. In the process, it ended up being the most connected I’ve felt to myself at a racetrack since probably my first Rolex as a fan that served as the genesis to all of this.

Everything that swore it wouldn’t change is different now. And that’s a good thing, even if I couldn’t see it in the moment… you know, because of the fog and all… *sarcastic smirk*

“In the back, off the side and far away
Is a place, where I hide, where I stay
Tried to say, tried to ask, I needed to
All alone, by myself, where were you?
How could I ever think, it’s funny how
Everything that swore it wouldn’t change is different now
Just like you would always say, we’ll make it through
Then my head fell apart and where were you?”

-T. Reznor, 1999